This is a few years old and has circulated on the Internet, but although it is pretty funny, it is also very telling. Christians and Jews are supposed to follow the Bible literally, so therefore this person's comments actually make sense...Wes Penre
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Thank you
for
reminding us
to obey
God's Law.
I have
learned a
great deal
from you and
understand
why you
support a
constitutional
amendment to
ban same-sex
marriage.
As you said,
"In the eyes
of God
marriage is
based
between a
man a woman"
I try to
share your
knowledge
with as many
people as I
can.
When someone
tries to
defend
homosexual
relationships,
I simply
remind them
that
Leviticus
18:22
clearly
states it to
be an
abomination.
End of
debate.
- - -
I do need
some advice
from you,
however,
regarding
some other
elements of
God's Law
and how to
follow
them.
1.
Leviticus
25:44 states
that I may
possess
slaves, both
male and
female,
provided
they are
purchased
from
neighboring
nations.
A friend of
mine claims
that this
applies to
Mexicans,
but not
Canadians.
Can you
clarify? Why
can't I own
Canadians?
2. I would
like to sell
my daughter
into
slavery, as
sanctioned
in Exodus
21:7.
In this day
and age,
what
do you think
would be a
fair price
for her?
3. I know
that I am
allowed no
contact with
a woman
while she is
in her
period of
menstrual
uncleanness
-
Lev.
15:19-24.
The problem
is how do I
tell? I have
tried
asking, but
most women
take
offense.
4.When I
burn a bull
on the altar
as a
sacrifice,
it
creates a
pleasing
odor for the
Lord -
Lev.1:9.
The problem
is with my
neighbors.
They claim
the odor is
not pleasing
to them.
Should I
smite them?
5. I have a
neighbor who
insists on
working on
the
Sabbath.
Exodus 35:2
clearly
states he
should be
put to
death.
Am I morally
obligated to
kill him
myself,
or should I
ask the
police to do
it?
6. A friend
of mine
feels that
even though
eating
shellfish is
an
abomination
- Lev.11:10,
it is a
lesser
abomination
than
homosexuality.
I don't
agree.
Can you
settle this?
Are there
'degrees' of
abomination?
7. Lev.21:20
states that
I may not
approach the
altar
of God if I
have a
defect in my
sight.
I have to
admit that I
wear reading
glasses.
Does my
vision have
to be 20/20,
or is there
some
wiggle-room
here?
8. Most of my
male friends
get their
hair
trimmed,
including
the hair
around their
temples,
even though
this is
expressly
forbidden by
Lev.19:27.
How should
they die?
9. I know
from
Lev.11:6-8
that
touching the
skin of a
dead pig
makes me
unclean, but
may I still
play
football if
I wear
gloves?
10. My uncle
has a farm.
He violates
Lev.19:19 by
planting two
different
crops in the
same field,
as
does his
wife by
wearing
garments
made of two
different
kinds of
thread
(cotton/polyester
blend).
He also
tends to
curse and
blaspheme a
lot.
Is it really
necessary
that we go
to all the
trouble of
getting the
whole
neighborhood
together to
stone them
as per
Lev.24:10-16.
Couldn't we
just burn
them to
death at a
private
family
affair, like
we do with
people who
sleep with
their
in-laws?
(Lev.20:14)
11. I would
like to take
on a second
wife and
maybe a
few
concubines,
if I can
scrape
enough money
together.
Are you
proposing an
amendment to
ban
compulsory
monogamy?
I know you
have studied
these things
extensively
and
thus possess
considerable
expertise in
such
matters,
so I am
confident
you can
help.
Thank you
again for
reminding us
that God's
word is
eternal and
unchanging,
and that our
constitution
and laws
ought
to enforce
it.
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