ule # 1: In the Middle East, it is always the Arabs that attack first, and it's always Israel who defends itself. This is called "Retaliation".

Rule # 2: The Arabs, whether Palestinians or Lebanese, are not allowed to kill Israelis. This is called "Terrorism".

Rule # 3: Israel has the right to kill Arab civilians, this is called "Self-Defense", or these days "Collateral Damage".

Rule # 4: When Israel kills too many civilians. the Western world calls for restraint. This is called the "Reaction of the International Community".

Rule # 5: Palestinians and Lebanese do not have the right to capture Israeli military, not even a limited number, not even 1 or 2. This is called Kidnapping".

Rule # 6: Israel has the right to capture as many Palestinians as they want (Palestinians: around 10000 to date, 300 of which are children, Lebanese: 1000s to date, being held without trial). There is no limit; there is no need for proof of guilt or trial. This is called "War on Terrorism".

Rule # 7: When you say "Hezbollah", always be sure to add "supported by Syria and Iran". This is called: "Axis of Evil".

Rule #8: When you say "Israel", never say "supported by the USA, the UK and other European countries", for people (God forbid) might believe this is not an equal conflict. This is called "Helping our Friends".

Rule # 9: When it comes to Israel, don't mention the words "occupied territories", "UN resolutions", "Geneva conventions". This could distress the audience and is called "Anti-Semitism".

Rule # 10: Israelis speak better English than Arabs. This is why we let them speak out as much as possible, so that they can explain rules 1 through 9. This is called "Neutral Journalism".

Rule # 11: If you don't agree with these rules or if you favor the Arab side over the Israeli side, you must be a very dangerous anti-Semite. You may even have to make a public apology if you express your honest opinion like Mel Gibson. This is called "Democracy".