If during our
formative years we receive no guidance or even negative affirmation (as
happened for me), then our self-worth never rises all that high.
We then build various beliefs that imprison
us in a very small box with no sign of an exit. How can we know otherwise
where the exit is when we don’t know what an exit looks like?
Sometimes, an event triggers a knowingness
that the box is way too small and restrictive and that there must be
another way of relating to what’s outside our box, i.e. our outer world.
The challenge is to find the key, then find the door, then have the courage
to unlock it, open it and step outside. Will we find the key? Will we find
the door? Will we unlock the door? Will we open the door? Will we then
have the courage to step outside or decide that at least in our box, we know
all there is to know and so feel “safe”?
Outside of this space / place we’ve
constructed in our psyche, the outer world is completely unknown. A scary
place of deceit, abuse, and certainly untrustworthy, otherwise we wouldn’t
have built such a protective box in the first place!
Do you “desire” to find the key, the door,
the lock, and step outside? If so, then you have all the courage you need
for it if it is within your heart’s desire, then your own divinity will
support you in embracing your entirely valid fear.
Once the door is opened and we’ve taken a
tentative step outside, it’s not irrevocable, in that if we still find the
as scary a place as when we built our box, then we may choose to return and
leave the door open, or lock it again and throw away the key, but at least
for the first time, we now have choice.
Herein lies the key: ensure before you step
outside that the environment into which you will venture is as safe as it
possibly can be. Intend to receive all the positive affirmation you can
receive to ensure the experience is as “validating” as it could be. This
will ensure the door is left open and unlocked, and who knows, you may even
Be aware though that others, who in their own
boxes ensured you didn’t step out of yours, will see your exit as a threat
to their own inability to do this for themselves. They will do anything
they can to ensure their survival-oriented paradigm remains unchallenged and
they will do this by simply “putting you back in your box”!
Therefore, be clear, be aware, be certain you
wish to take this step, and most of all create from your innate wisdom the
most conducive environment possible. Ask for the support you need from
people who have no need or desire to return you to the suffocating
constraints you once imposed on yourself as a means of survival. Other
courageous “box openers” are the only ones who can have true empathy.
Honour yourself for having the courage to
even think of taking such a step.
Respect yourself for having the freedom to
now have choice in your life.
Listen to the
beatings of your heart and know that in truth you cannot make a mistake.
yourself by accepting responsibility for building your box in the first
place, for whatever reason. Therefore only you can unlock it.
You are the
“Each of us guards a gate of change that
can only be opened from the inside” – Marilyn Ferguson